Sounds and Smells

I don't want this to ramble on or start sounding like Andy Rooney from 60 Minutes. But it could happen. Just be warned.

As I was sitting on my balcony smoking a fine cigar and trying to forget about the job that is killing me more everyday, I started to think about the noises and smells that I used to dislike but now I don't seem to mind anymore. I have always loved the sound of a loud car or motorcycle, but other people find those sounds offensive or annoying. I can be in a deep conversation, but if a bike goes racing up the street, my head will snap and I will look for the ride. Now I don't live on a tree-lined little street, so I don't worry about kids and dogs getting plowed. I live next to a big artery type of street and I ain't giving the address or you bastards may drop by when I'm getting some Hack time. My point is that alot of traffic goes by my house and the gear head in me just loves to hear the sound of a nice V8 or a badass V-twin go by. Other people complain about the noise, but I love that sound. Actually the traffic driving by sings me to sleep at night and with the good comes the bad. I also live on the direct route to 2 local hospitals in the city and the EMTs and cops in this town love to play with their sirens. You learn to trade off. I also share my parking lot with a pizza place...oh the smells coming from that joint! Which means that I have to hear what I assume is music, but it is up so loud all I hear is the license plate vibrating over the pounding bass. I like some loud music as much as the next guy, but c'mon. I don't want anybody to think that I'm singling anyone out....cause I'm not. I happen to like a good rap song once in awhile and I would feel the same no matter what music I am forced to listen to. But, it's that person's choice to listen to what they like and I don't control that, nor would I want to.

With this being a huge street leading into the city, I also get to hear my share of gun fire. I counted 4 or 5 shots one night sitting on my balcony. But since it came from a poor neighborhood, I heard no police responding. Imagine that. As long as you ain't shooting at me or mine, go ahead. Who am I to stop ya. If a stray does come my way, expect return fire however. I love the sound of guns too.

I was raised in a very small town and the sounds were boring except for the cars and bikes downtown on Friday and Saturday nights. Forget Cialis, fire up a V-twin or a small/big-block Chevy and I'm ready to go! Hell, I even dig the sound of well tuned crotch rocket on occasion for that matter. I also like to hear dogs bark. Not forever because their owner is a pompous douche that keeps his animal on a chain outside all night kind of barking dog, but a happy barking dog. I think that covers the sound part of this program.

Now we will get to the smells. I already mentioned my pizza neighbors...oh, the bread baking for rolls on a Sunday morning! Imagine that and breathe in! I get it all the time. Something that used to annoy the piss out of me was tobacco smoke...especially the smarmy assholes smoking cigars. Inconsiderate scrotum sacks, the bunch of 'em. Funny how now that I smoke cigars, those guys are pretty fuckin' nice people. Rather cordial too, I might add.......ready to buy you a drink and start a conversation. Now that would be those rich cigar smokers cause I ain't buying you shit. Before I started smoking them, I was with my brother-in-law and his ball and chain, out for what would become a long and drunken night of dancing with chubby girls, drinking Jack Daniels and vomitting. We stopped at this club for some drinks and a little grub, when this rich fat guy came in and started to fight with the bartenders until he got us a hottie and he kept her there for us. He then pulls out this beautiful smelling cigar and asked if we would mind. I told him that you bought it Pal, light it up. He paid our entire bar tab! God, I loves me some rich people. Now I grew up in a house where my Dad smoked the unfiltered Pall Malls, so I was used to the smell of cigarettes but I wasn't pleased with the smell. As I got older I realized that it was something I could deal with as long as the smoke wasn't in my face. If that's what you want to do...who am I to stop ya? I try to be considerate of others while I am accelerating my death by toxic gas, but the smell does move around. I really do love the smell of a good cigar. And when someone lights up a little pot around me, so what. That has an alright smell even tho I don't smoke it myself any longer. I believe that as adults we have a reasonable right to do things we find enjoyable, within reason.
Of course the line does have to be drawn somewhere. I won't smoke a cigar in a restaurant, even in a smoking area. That smell is not everyone's favorite smell, just like I try not to fart at the dinner table.....same reason.
George Carlin once said that smoking sections in eateries are like peeing sections in pools. What we find enjoyable might not be the same for others. I try to be aware of that. But if it's after 10 and I light a cigar, don't come and ask me to put it out. I'll stab ya in front of your kids.

I'll try to wrap this up. My biggest bitch is people talking on cell phones loud enough to be heard 3 rows away at a Rush concert. Hey dickhead! You are not that important. I work in the industry and I hate talking on those things. My conversations look and sound like I'm in the mob. I get to the point, quietly and I hang up.(Ooooohhh)
Nothing pisses me off more than hearing everything about some woman's day and how her yeast infection has finally cleared up so she can go out clubbin' and get her groove on. Or how Jordan's such a soccer superstar and all the other boys like him alot and Tiffany wants a diamond bracelet for her 5th birthday or she will die. A) Jordan is going to end up being gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) and B) Tiffany is going to grow up to be an annoying little bitch that will develop a drinking problem and drive her husband to suicide. And remember E.F. Hutton? I don't care what he has to say or where your investments are or about the affair you are having with that little Mexican piece of ass that cleans your office. SHUT UP! You can get all of that from a cell phone conversation.

That will do for now. Go out and do what you find enjoyable as long as it isn't listening to really loud music or chaining your dog outside or talking on your cellphone.

Peace and love to all of you.

Being a Kid - Then and Now

....and I seem to be stuck on a theme. This might seem like a joke but it is not very far from the truth. It sure seems that the time for growing up has changed somewhat. Things have really changed in the 40 years since I was 7.....take a look.

SCHOOL -- 1969 vs. 2009

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1969 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2009 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. The law charges them with assault, both are expelled even though Johnny started it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1969 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2009 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1969 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2009 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused as well and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's Mom has affair with psychologist.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1969 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal, who also has a headache, out on the smoking dock.
2009 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1969 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2009 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1969 - Ants die.
2009 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1969 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Whatever Happened To Being A Kid

After reading news headlines over the past couple of years, I really have to question being a kid and how kids are raised and treated.

Growing up then

You must first understand that I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. And the first bastard that makes a comment about tye died clothes will get a punch in the jaw. Back then things were different. We never had ADD, CNN, ADHD, Dr. Phil or Hyperactivity. This didn’t evolve until after I grew up and didn’t get to use it to my benefit. I’ll tell ya what we did have......BELT.

Oh Hell yeah, black or brown, a very limited choice. And they only came in leather. No cloth or plastic pansy assed shit for us! To this day, I would not call that abuse or ever say I was abused.

It was what we used to call disciplined, something that doesn’t happen today. We never had a time out, stood in the corner, loss of a video game and stuff like that. We were kept in line. We didn’t throw tantrums in a store and have no recourse. Parents were allowed to spank their kids without fear of having the law called in to remove the kids and arrest the parents.

And guess what?! I’m pretty normal in my eyes.

We never sat around the house all day and night playing video games. You younger people might want to sit down for this....we played OUTSIDE. We even had a house with green grass and some dirt that we called a backyard. And we used the shit out of it. We built treehouses, made forts, played ball, and generally ran around. We didn’t see alot of fat kids then. We got them in High School. We rode our bicycles and roller skated with no helmets.....if I ever got hurt, I must’ve hit my noggin hard enough to not recall it.

We never used car seats in my day. We stood up in the back seat and slapped our brothers and sisters and behaved ourselves. Parents had longer arms back then and they could reach back and crack you to bring you back to control. If that didn’t work...a nice jab to the brake pedal would get your attention. Back in the day, alot of cars didn’t have seat belts in the back anyhow. Riding in pickup trucks?! Forget about it. We sat in the bed many times and enjoyed the fresh air and didn’t have to hear our parents jabber on about grown up shit. And I never, ever heard of any kids falling out of a pick up truck bed.

Did I ever think of calling someone to remove me from these dangerous and abusive environs? NO. This was normal life.

Growing up now

Kids today are homeschooled, coddled, over priveleged and pampered. And childhood obesity is thru the roof. We can blame fast food and microwave food for alot of this. Today a kid doesn’t get to be a kid. I can’t speak at length to this because I am not living it now. I just go by what I see. It is getting really hard to go anywhere without hearing someone’s little crotch fruit throwing a fit and dominating the parent-child dynamic. Kids can’t be corrected in public for fear of being visited by child services. At home, you have to worry about someone who wants to play nanny. You have kids sitting in front of a tv or computer or playing a "video game". Then you have Dr. Phil telling you how to raise your kids.

Kids today cannot even spell and the constant text messaging is only making it worse. The classes they are getting in school are mere shells of what they used to be. And gym class?! It is called physical education for a reason. We used to have the class outside and pick teams and sometimes I would get picked last. And I am still alive. We used to play tag and kill ball. Try it today.

And for the record, I am not telling anyone how to raise a child. I’m making some obsevations and welcome any feedback....good or bad.

By the way, here is a newsflash...Dr. Phil is not a doctor. He lost that credential a long time ago. He is a doctor like Al Sharpton is a reverend. Sorry to burst that bubble, turn the fucker off...just be a parent.

And what is with the ever growing examples of little kids being handcuffed, tasered and arrested for stupid shit? It is shocking! Read thru this list and be as appalled as I am. It’s happening all over the country at an alarming rate by people who you trust your kids to everyday.

FLORIDA - It was a typical scuffle between two youngsters - some name-calling, a slap on the face, a punch to the stomach. After it was over, however, Tallahassee police handcuffed the 8-year-old boy who picked the fight and took him to a juvenile facility Monday night, charging him with misdemeanor battery and criminal mischief. "This was children’s stuff, a disagreement between two neighborhood kids," said attorney Kathy Garner, now representing first-grader Isaac Sutton, who turned 8 last month. The boy’s case was made public by his mother, Pamela Kelly. "He just needs a good talking-to," Garner said Tuesday. "This doesn’t need to be handled in the judicial system."  Assistant City Attorney Rick Courtemanche, the Tallahassee Police Department’s legal adviser, said the arresting officer decided there was enough evidence to arrest the 4-foot-10, 70-pound boy. And city policy requires officers to handcuff juveniles when taking them to the county’s Juvenile Assessment Center, he added.

NEW YORK - The New York Civil Liberties Union today condemned the treatment of a 13-year-old girl who was arrested after she wrote the word "okay" on her school desk. According to news reports, Chelsea Fraser was handcuffed and placed under arrest in front of her classmates at the Dyker Heights Intermediate School on March 30. Police demanded that Fraser empty her pockets and take off her belt before handcuffing her and leading her out of the school and into the back of a police car. Fraser faces charges of criminal mischief and writing graffiti.

SOUTH CAROLINA - A South Carolina woman decided her son was so out of line when he stole the Game Boy Advance she had purchased as his Christmas present that she had the 12 year-old arrested. He was charged, as a juvenile, with petty larceny.

FLORIDA - Police used a stun gun on a 6-year-old boy in his principal’s office because he was wielding a piece of glass and threatening to hurt himself, officials said Thursday. The boy, who was not identified, was shocked with 50,000 volts on Oct. 20 at Kelsey Pharr Elementary School.

COLORADO- An eight-year-old Colorado boy is suspended from school for sniffing a permanent marker. The third grader colored a stripe on his shirt with the marker... and then smelled his shirt. The teacher sent him to the principal, and the third grader was suspended for three days.

FLORIDA - A 10-year-old girl brought a knife to her school in Ocala, Fla., last week and used it in the cafeteria to cut her steak; she now faces a felony weapons charge. Teachers at Sunrise Elementary School told Marion County sheriff’s deputies they seized the 4-1/2 inch steak knife last week when they saw the female student, aged 10, using it in the school cafeteria to cut the steak she was eating, Ocala.com reports. The teachers called police.

MASSACHUSETTS - The parents of two boys in Whitman, Mass., are upset their kids were arrested and shackled by police for illegal skateboarding. The parents say the boys were shackled before being taken to a juvenile court, the Boston Herald reported Wednesday. "It’s absurd," Stephanie Saltzman said. "My son is 12 years old and all he was doing is skateboarding. I mean, you gotta be kidding me." Saltzman’s son, Josh, and 14-year-old neighbor, Ryan Maxwell, were arrested last week when a police officer caught them skateboarding on a street. A town bylaw prohibits using skateboards or other devices to "coast or slide" along public streets. Town officials did not comment but said police would not arrest kids unless their actions were more severe. The arresting officer declined comment. The boys said they were only skateboarding in front of their homes and they complied with the officer without protest.

The only thing I can say is.....WOW

 

Why Memorial Day is more than a 3 day weekend

Although I have never been able to serve, I did try to enlist as a young man. Having epilepsy seems to be an unfavorable thing to have if you want to serve your country. But the desire was there and the feeling that I've been less of an American bothers me everyday. I am proud of anyone who wears a uniform in support of this country and those that paid the supreme price should never be disrespected, they are to held up high and remembered everyday. I do not give a rat's ass on your feelings towards war or violence or your stand on why we shouldn't have been there in the first place. I had a Grandfather, who not long after coming to this country from Germany, signed up to fight in the American Revolution. He died a proud man who served in the Continental Army to gain freedom for a brand new country. He did what he felt he needed to do. Fast forward in history and there was another Hack....signing up for the Union to serve in the bloodiest war in our history. He lived thru the Civil War, while many of his friends did not. Am I proud? You bet your ass! My grandfather that helped raise me was a hero in World War 2 in a fight for global freedom, fighting the Japanese. It ended with my Dad. His eye problems made him unfit for duty, but he wasn't a protester, he supported his boyhood friends who would later die in an unpopular war. If you've seen Forrest Gump, this may look alot like lineage of Lt. Dan. Except that I lost no one in battle. That is Hack's history of Memorial Day. Let me tell you the real story.......

Memorial Day was officially proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, in his General Order No. 11, and was first observed on 30 May 1868, when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. The first state to officially recognize the holiday was New York in 1873. By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war). It is now celebrated in almost every State on the last Monday in May (passed by Congress with the National Holiday Act of 1971 to ensure a three day weekend for Federal holidays), though several southern states have an additional separate day for honoring the Confederate war dead: January 19 in Texas, April 26 in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi; May 10 in South Carolina; and June 3 (Jefferson Davis' birthday) in Louisiana and Tennessee.

Traditional observance of Memorial Day has diminished over the years which is a crying shame. Many Americans nowadays have forgotten the meaning and traditions of Memorial Day and this stings. At many cemeteries, the graves of the fallen are increasingly ignored and neglected, which translates into disrespected. Most people no longer remember the proper flag etiquette for the day. While there are towns and cities that still hold Memorial Day parades, many have not held a parade in decades. Some people think the day is for honoring any and all dead, and not just those fallen in service to our country.

There are a few notable exceptions. Since the late 50's on the Thursday before Memorial Day, the 1,200 soldiers of the 3d U.S. Infantry place small American flags at each of the more than 260,000 gravestones at Arlington National Cemetery. They then patrol 24 hours a day during the weekend to ensure that each flag remains standing. In 1951, the Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts of St. Louis began placing flags on the 150,000 graves at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery as an annual Good Turn, a practice that continues to this day. More recently, beginning in 1998, on the Saturday before the observed day for Memorial Day, the Boys Scouts and Girl Scouts place a candle at each of approximately 15,300 grave sites of soldiers buried at Fredericksburg and Spotsylvania National Military Park on Marye's Heights (the Luminaria Program). And in 2004, Washington D.C. held its first Memorial Day parade in over 60 years.

To help re-educate and remind Americans of the true meaning of Memorial Day, the "National Moment of Remembrance" resolution was passed on Dec 2000 which asks that at 3 p.m. local time, for all Americans "To voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a Moment of remembrance and respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or listening to 'Taps."

The Moment of Remembrance is a step in the right direction to returning the meaning back to the day. What is needed is a full return to the original day of observance. Set aside one day out of the year for the nation to get together to remember, reflect and honor those who have given their all in service to their country.

But what may be needed to return the solemn, and even sacred, spirit back to Memorial Day is for a return to its traditional day of observance. Many feel that when Congress made the day into a three-day weekend in with the National Holiday Act of 1971, it made it all the easier for people to be distracted from the spirit and meaning of the day. As the VFW stated in its 2002 Memorial Day address: "Changing the date merely to create three-day weekends has undermined the very meaning of the day. No doubt, this has contributed greatly to the general public's nonchalant observance of Memorial Day."

Take notice that I didn't make mention of a certain "church" that loves to trample dead soldiers, they don't deserve my recognition. We need to really remember this day for what it is. I know that I will. Why don't you join me and my family as we celebrate. And feel free to comment this blog with a short story of your own.

On 2 Wheels

The riding season is fully upon us. For some of us it never ended, but for others the weather kept us on 4 wheels and trapped inside a cage. Being back on 2 wheels, after some time off, made me see things in a completely different light. I noticed that the lane we ride in isn't as wide as it looks when we are driving the SUV. And the sunrises are just too cool. Nothing compares to starting your ride as the sun is just coming up. As you ride, you can actually feel the sun warm your face and arms. And the cool breezes really let you enjoy the sunrise. I never remember feeling that while driving my Ford Focus…instead I was busy trying to block the light. This must be how a bird feels everyday.

I also noticed that different types of bugs have their own flavors. Maybe a full faced helmet would cut down on the intake but I'm already overweight and I'm not going to count bugs as I eat them. Besides, they have a fat dude on TV that eats bugs and stuff all the time. In my car, I just watch them bounce or splatter. Although a nice beetle to the forehead is a sure wake up call.

Being on two wheels really heightens your ability to detect a stupid driver before they try something stupid. Here's a daily draw that I nearly forgot about. Dead skunks have a very different smell as ride by them on a bike than they do in a car. You are out there and you just have to handle it. In the car you can make faces and noises as you crank the window up. I really didn't have a love for the smell of skunks anyway. City riding is one thing, but a ride in the country opens your sense of smell to many different types of flowers and things that you normally don't smell or just take for granted. It also puts you closer to the mess left behind by animals too...mmmmmm, manure.

And just singing out loud. I find myself singing as I ride and I really do not care about the people around me. Sure, they look at me funny and probably marvel at why I'm on a bike and instead of on a stage, but I don't care. Although I must pay attention to what I'm singing as to keep from getting a beat down at the next light. And people can hear you when you talk to yourself, unlike in a car, and some things might just be better left unsaid. Calling someone an asshole will usually be heard a little clearer. But I'm feeling free and I'll say whatever I want and worry about it later.

And one of the best things about being on two wheels, the sunsets. They make you feel like John Wayne on a big horse. It feels like riding away after saving the farm and keeping the women folk safe. It's not the same in the family station wagon.

Yeah. The riding season is definitely here.