As I was sitting on my balcony smoking a fine cigar and trying to forget about the job that is killing me more everyday, I started to think about the noises and smells that I used to dislike but now I don't seem to mind anymore. I have always loved the sound of a loud car or motorcycle, but other people find those sounds offensive or annoying. I can be in a deep conversation, but if a bike goes racing up the street, my head will snap and I will look for the ride. Now I don't live on a tree-lined little street, so I don't worry about kids and dogs getting plowed. I live next to a big artery type of street and I ain't giving the address or you bastards may drop by when I'm getting some Hack time. My point is that alot of traffic goes by my house and the gear head in me just loves to hear the sound of a nice V8 or a badass V-twin go by. Other people complain about the noise, but I love that sound. Actually the traffic driving by sings me to sleep at night and with the good comes the bad. I also live on the direct route to 2 local hospitals in the city and the EMTs and cops in this town love to play with their sirens. You learn to trade off. I also share my parking lot with a pizza place...oh the smells coming from that joint! Which means that I have to hear what I assume is music, but it is up so loud all I hear is the license plate vibrating over the pounding bass. I like some loud music as much as the next guy, but c'mon. I don't want anybody to think that I'm singling anyone out....cause I'm not. I happen to like a good rap song once in awhile and I would feel the same no matter what music I am forced to listen to. But, it's that person's choice to listen to what they like and I don't control that, nor would I want to.
With this being a huge street leading into the city, I also get to hear my share of gun fire. I counted 4 or 5 shots one night sitting on my balcony. But since it came from a poor neighborhood, I heard no police responding. Imagine that. As long as you ain't shooting at me or mine, go ahead. Who am I to stop ya. If a stray does come my way, expect return fire however. I love the sound of guns too.
I was raised in a very small town and the sounds were boring except for the cars and bikes downtown on Friday and Saturday nights. Forget Cialis, fire up a V-twin or a small/big-block Chevy and I'm ready to go! Hell, I even dig the sound of well tuned crotch rocket on occasion for that matter. I also like to hear dogs bark. Not forever because their owner is a pompous douche that keeps his animal on a chain outside all night kind of barking dog, but a happy barking dog. I think that covers the sound part of this program.
Now we will get to the smells. I already mentioned my pizza neighbors...oh, the bread baking for rolls on a Sunday morning! Imagine that and breathe in! I get it all the time. Something that used to annoy the piss out of me was tobacco smoke...especially the smarmy assholes smoking cigars. Inconsiderate scrotum sacks, the bunch of 'em. Funny how now that I smoke cigars, those guys are pretty fuckin' nice people. Rather cordial too, I might add.......ready to buy you a drink and start a conversation. Now that would be those rich cigar smokers cause I ain't buying you shit. Before I started smoking them, I was with my brother-in-law and his ball and chain, out for what would become a long and drunken night of dancing with chubby girls, drinking Jack Daniels and vomitting. We stopped at this club for some drinks and a little grub, when this rich fat guy came in and started to fight with the bartenders until he got us a hottie and he kept her there for us. He then pulls out this beautiful smelling cigar and asked if we would mind. I told him that you bought it Pal, light it up. He paid our entire bar tab! God, I loves me some rich people. Now I grew up in a house where my Dad smoked the unfiltered Pall Malls, so I was used to the smell of cigarettes but I wasn't pleased with the smell. As I got older I realized that it was something I could deal with as long as the smoke wasn't in my face. If that's what you want to do...who am I to stop ya? I try to be considerate of others while I am accelerating my death by toxic gas, but the smell does move around. I really do love the smell of a good cigar. And when someone lights up a little pot around me, so what. That has an alright smell even tho I don't smoke it myself any longer. I believe that as adults we have a reasonable right to do things we find enjoyable, within reason.
Of course the line does have to be drawn somewhere. I won't smoke a cigar in a restaurant, even in a smoking area. That smell is not everyone's favorite smell, just like I try not to fart at the dinner table.....same reason.
George Carlin once said that smoking sections in eateries are like peeing sections in pools. What we find enjoyable might not be the same for others. I try to be aware of that. But if it's after 10 and I light a cigar, don't come and ask me to put it out. I'll stab ya in front of your kids.
I'll try to wrap this up. My biggest bitch is people talking on cell phones loud enough to be heard 3 rows away at a Rush concert. Hey dickhead! You are not that important. I work in the industry and I hate talking on those things. My conversations look and sound like I'm in the mob. I get to the point, quietly and I hang up.(Ooooohhh)
Nothing pisses me off more than hearing everything about some woman's day and how her yeast infection has finally cleared up so she can go out clubbin' and get her groove on. Or how Jordan's such a soccer superstar and all the other boys like him alot and Tiffany wants a diamond bracelet for her 5th birthday or she will die. A) Jordan is going to end up being gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) and B) Tiffany is going to grow up to be an annoying little bitch that will develop a drinking problem and drive her husband to suicide. And remember E.F. Hutton? I don't care what he has to say or where your investments are or about the affair you are having with that little Mexican piece of ass that cleans your office. SHUT UP! You can get all of that from a cell phone conversation.
That will do for now. Go out and do what you find enjoyable as long as it isn't listening to really loud music or chaining your dog outside or talking on your cellphone.
Peace and love to all of you.
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